A Starling Epiphany.

So I was thinking. About life. Friends, family, relationships. The whole 9. I’ve lived a happy life, primarily under my Mother’s wing. I’ve followed her wishes, I’ve done what she’s asked of me, and rarely misbehaved. I never drank or, well let’s be honest, lived, until I joined the Army. She was so protective of me that I never got to do anything. I never got to make my own mistakes, reap my own rewards. Everything had been planned, carefully placed to make my life as happy as possible.

But now I’m on my own. And I don’t have the basic life experiences that everyone else has. Their pride, courage. I’m a smart man. I really am. And it’s mind-blowing that I’ve never realized this before, however,

I have never made my own choices. 

 Think about it. “Don’t do that, that’s stupid.” - Mother. “Okay!” “Don’t listen to your Mom, she’s stupid. Do this instead.” - Brother. “Okay!” “Man, your family is fucking stupid. They don’t know what’s best for you. Do this.” - Friends. “Okay!”

Man, fuck everyone.

I’m so sick of following these people. I’m going to be my own man from now on. I’m going to do what makes me happy. What the fuck I choose. And I’m going to deal with the consequences, and rewards as they may come. But they were my decisions, and mine alone.

“Dude, that chick is a crazy bitch. You need someone like ____.”
“I’m telling you she’s cheating on you. Think about it. She’s probably doing ____.”
“You want to be an Officer? That’s fucking stupid. You should be ____.”
“A Cavalry Scout? What the fuck? Go ____ instead.”

I’m doing me from now on. I love my friends and family to death. But their advice is exactly that. Advice. I can choose to listen or not to listen. But their whispers in my ear will drive me no longer. I had a happy relationship and god damn it, I pissed it away. I had so many opportunities in life that were denied from me because of my mother. So thanks guys, but,

Fuck you all. I’m doing me.



 

(Source: -labyrinth, via what-is-this-i-dont-even)

(via what-is-this-i-dont-even)

Sleep time.

Sorry I haven’t been very active here on tumblr, guys. Lot of shit going on. Thankfully, I got just a few days and I’m home. I am so fucking close.

Good night everyone. :D 

Uh. I have no idea. ._.

My lower back.

Is nearly paralyzing me. Back spasms are out of control. And tomorrow I’m moving bags and tough boxes for hours. They say being in the army makes you age faster, christ, I feel like I’m 88 and I’m 19. Somebody help me.

So I wrestled a friend of mine today and choked him the fuck out in 14 seconds. As a prize, my Platoon made me a belt out of tape, chemlights, a US Flag and a paper plate. I am now the proud owner of a paper plate championship belt.

Me in the Gunner’s hatch.